Speak to me

The little child whispered, "God, speak to me." And a meadowlark sang. But the child did not hear. So the child yelled, "God, speak to me!" And the thunder rolled across the sky. But the child did not listen. The child looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shone brightly But the child did not notice. And the child shouted, "God show me a miracle!" And a life was born. But the child did not know. So the child cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here!" Whereupon God reached down and touched the child. But the child brushed the butterfly away and walked away unknowingly. Take time to listen. Often times, the things we seek are right underneath our noses. Don't miss out on your blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.— Anonymous

Owed to a Spell Chequer

Owed Two A Spell Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer,

it came with my pea sea.

It plainly marques, four my revue,

miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

and weight four it two say,

Weather eye am wrong oar write

it shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,

it nose bee fore two long.

And eye can put the error rite

it's rare lea ever wrong

Eye have run this poem threw it,

I am shore your pleased two no.

Its letter perfect awl the weigh,

my chequer tolled me sew

Objectivity in observations

I have recently had to undertake a number of observations on young children. We were told that while doing such a study one must remain objective, in other words we must separate ourselves from what we see and not be influenced by emotions or what we think is happening. We must only record what we 'know' is happening.It is unbelievably hard to do this as I will explain by the hypothetical observation below

Observation, draft 1

In the book corner there sat two children named Joe and Jack. Joe was sitting reading a book when all of sudden Jack got angry with him and punched him in the nose with his right fist, Joe started crying hysterically and red blood poured from his nose.


Draft 1 with a conversation between me and my tutor (my tutors words are in pink)

In the book corner there sat two children named Joe and Jack. Joe was sitting reading
How do you know he was reading?
A book when all of sudden Jack got angry
How do you know he was angry? He might just have wanted to remodel Joe's face a bit
with him and punched
he might not have punched him, he could have a nervous twitch
him in the nose with his right fist. Joe started crying
he could have been laughing
hysterically
and he might normally cry robustly
and red
colours are subjective
Blood
it could have been paint
poured from his nose
it might not have been his nose


Observation draft 2

In the book corner sat two children named Jack and Joe. Joe was sitting with a book partially covering his face. Jack’s arm went back in a 40˚ angle and then swung forward at a rate of 40 mph and landed upon the nose that was attached to Joe’s face. Out of the nose came a liquid, out of his eyes came another liquid and out of his mouth came a noise

Draft 2 with a conversation between me (in blue) and my tutor (in pink)

In the book corner
A lot of book corners aren’t actually in the corner
sat two children
They might not be children, they could be adults come to spy on you
People then?
they could be aliens,
living creatures?
Or robots
O.k. I’ll forget that sentence
named Jack and Joe.
Their names are subjective, because you needed to change them to ensure confidentiality, you could think Jack is a naughty sounding name.
Joe was sitting
Could be crouching, kneeling,
with a book
It might just look like a book to you
partially covering his face.
From where you were sitting
Jack’s arm went back
Someone else might call that forwards
in a 40˚ angle
measurements are never accurate
and then swung
Swung??
forward at a rate of 40 mph
As before
and landed upon the nose that was attached to Joe’s face.
It could be an optical illusion
Out of the nose came a liquid, out of his eyes came another liquid and out
of his mouth came a noise
Liquid and sounds are soooo subjective, how do you know that noise came from his mouth.

I know you think I’m being picky about this objectivity business, but what is recommended for this child depends upon it being accurate and detached from what people your own personal feelings.
Um o.k.

Draft 3
???????????????????????????????


My point is that as sinful human beings everything we write, say, think or see is influenced by who we are and it is therefore impossible to write a truly objective observation. So at what point does an observation become 'objective' by the tutors estimation.

hi

Snowdon

Here are some photo's from yesterdays visit to Snowdon, It has to be said that I only really enjoyed the way back, which was down hill. On the the way there I had massive blisters. I started to panic at the last bit because I'm scared of heights and it was really icy and near the edge. I liked it at the top though, I really felt I had achieved something.















































Much as Snowdon has some lovely views, I hold true to this statement

It's a lot of pain
For so little gain!!!

How cruel was this!!!

Soldier, Soldier, Won't You Marry Me?

Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me (I'm not actually sure women should propose anyway)
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have no HAT to put on. (Rubbish excuse)

So off she went to the hatmaker's shop
As fast as she could run,
She bought him a hat, a very fine hat,
And the soldier put it on.

Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have no SHIRT to put on,

So off she went to the hatmaker's shop
As fast as she could run,
She bought him a shirt, a very fine shirt,
And the soldier put it on.

Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have no COAT to put on.

So off she went to the coatmaker's shop
As fast as she could run,
She bought him a coat, a very fine coat,
And the soldier put it on.

Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have no GLOVES to put on.

So off she went to the glovemaker's shop
As fast as she could run,
She bought him a pair a very fine pair,
And the soldier put them on.

Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have no BOOTS to put on.

So off she went to the bootmaker's shop
As fast as she could run,
She bought him a pair, a very fine pair,
And the soldier put them on.

NOW, soldier, soldier, will you marry me
with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you
for I have a WIFE at home!!!! (How gutted would you be?!?!)

English

I found this the other day

It's no wonder foreigners have trouble with the english language,

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write,
how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Blogless

I haven't blogged for two months, I feel sort of in dept, the problem is I can't think of anything to blog about. Here's some quotes to tide you over untill I speak again.

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath."
Dave Barry
American writer and humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947

I believe in the 'Big Bang' theory, God spoke and 'BANG', it was.
Anonymous

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.
Anonymous

Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.
C.S. Lewis

anyone want to know

Rohirrim

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by

As regards my name

1. Naomi (נעמי) means pleasant.
2. Naomi (נעמי) is the female version of the name Naaman (נצמן).
3. If you spell Naomi (נעמי) backwards you get I moan.
4. Naomi (נעמי) in the bible changed her name to Mara (מרא) meaning bitter.

Did you know?

We Learn . .
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss
80% of what we experience
95% of what we teach others.



"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

Albert Einstein

Learning to write

Today at college (not to be confused a second time with collage) we learned how to write so that children could read it. It was actually really hard and slow to write in such a basic font. We also had to write in big writing like this. But at least we didn't have to stick to boring black ink.

Just for interest, you should always sit a left handed person on the end because they if you don't their arm will knock into the right handed person's next to them.

Collage

I've just finished my first day at collage for 10 years. It was somewhat daunting at first, but as soon as I was swept along with all the other people on my course it wasn't too bad. At the end of the day the principal gave his lecture on how the collage was amazing and that we must work together to achieve our potential.


PS. Do you like the new colour?

Sharing

The following conversation took place between my mum and my three year old sister Alice. I thought it was very honest.

Mum-They shared in the story didn't they? Do you share with Esther?

Alice-No, I share Esther's toys but I don't share my own.

Joke Joke

I'm back from two more week's of beach mission.
My recent beach team leader made up a Joke, So I think i'd share it with you as I can't think of anything else to post about.

Q.What's the same about a sermon and a Joke
A. There both bad if they have to be explained